Yesterday went so well and so lazy (well it's Sunday) until I got my littlest brother's phone call in the evening.
"Mama kena tahan kat wad. Kena demam denggi."
And my heart stopped for seconds.
Mama had fever since Thursday I think, and maybe because the fever still not gone and getting worse, my brother bring her to the hospital. And it was dengue.
When I knew mama had fever I didn't call her, ask her how she is. I'm that kind of daughter. Do not know how to express my love to my family. If I knew mama is sick, I'm not that kind of daughter who will worry so much about her mom. I was like ' ohh, mama xsehat ke'. Because I know mama is the strongest woman in my whole life.
But this time, I worried like hell, I tell you. I don't know why.
And suddenly I remembered about a dream I had about last week.
In that dream, I lost my mom. My mom is gone, forever.
And that was the saddest dream. I woke up feeling so sad, and so the rest of the day until I finally called my mom at that night.
I can't imagine the time when Allah takes my parent's life forever. How we gonna survive? Lost someone that you love maybe is the saddest thing that will happen in your life. Plus, your parent is the one who stay with you since you start seeing this world.
I can't stop crying from yesterday's evening till night. I keep worrying about my mom. I don't know this strange feeling. About 1am, I received text messages from my lil brother, telling mama is doing fine, she looks better. Alhamdulillah, praise to You Allah.
I tweet about my mom. And I receive several warm wishes from people who cares. There were some people who directly whatsapp me, asking how's my mom and even comforted me warmly. I was so touched, thank you friend. May Allah reward you for the good deeds that you have done to me :)
Well, in my opinion it is common sense when u heard people say 'my mom is sick' to wish them a good thing, like 'may your mom gain her health again' or comforting worrying-me etc. It's just common sense people. Respect other's grieve, say polite and comforting things. To ignore them is just a no-common-sense thing to do.
I even received "Don't be sad. They do not want you to be sad." 'motivating' words.
Well, I tell you. I'm a girl and to say things like "Don't be sad" to a girl, is maybe a one big mistake. It's like you forbid them to express their feelings. Please, that is not a good way to comfort a girl, that is forcing them to continue holding their feeling. That uneasy feeling will not go away even she stops being sad!
And yesterday when I was so worried about my mom, I found this in FB.
You say : I am sad and afraid.
Allah says : "Verily, for the friends of Allah, there is no fear nor shall they grieve." [Yunus:62]
And I thought, "Allah really wants to comfort me right now". :)
If you seek something from people, you may be disappointed.
But if you seek something from Allah, insyaAllah everything will be alright.
Allah will always be there for you, even when everyone in this world left you.
Keep calm, and have faith in Allah.
For those who reading this, please pray for my mom. May she gain her health again. Amin.